Each year I pick a word (or a word picks me!) rather than a resolution to focus on. I have learned from experience, resolutions come and go as evidenced by how crowded the gym will be in January and then uncrowded in February! Discovering a word and focusing on that word is sticky and becomes a trigger like a habit. A word tends to stimulate my thinking around situations, conversations, and interactions. A word helps me make a connection with what I am reading and learning. A word becomes a bridge to possibilities, opportunities and the door to curiosity.

My word for 2019 was “community” as in move from being a part of a group to being a part of “community.” Helping create and build community has been a part of my ‘on purpose.’ A true community is a place of inclusion and where people can be vulnerable while feeling safe. I ended 2019 forming a small diverse, equitable, and inclusive community of half white men and half MOC.

My word for 2020 is light. With all the disinformation, misinformation, and alternative facts, “fake news,” I’m going to be more intentional in finding the light. I also want light to help me look at situations and events with fresh eyes, to help me be more curious and to find the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Robert Fulghum, a storyteller’s storyteller and author of It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It, tells of time taking a seminar on Greek culture on the island of Crete lead by Dr. Alexander Papaderous. During the close of the last day, Papaderous asked the class, “Are there any questions?”

Fulghum responds, “Dr. Papaderous, what is the meaning of life?”

After some silence and an intense gaze at Fulghum, he says, “I will answer your question.”

Out of his wallet, he pulled a small round mirror about the size of a quarter. He told the story of being a child during WWII and finding pieces of a mirror from a wrecked German motorcycle. He took the largest piece of mirror and scratched into its round shape and used it as a toy to reflect light into dark places. As Papaderous grew he came to realize the mirror was a metaphor for the purpose of his life…to “reflect light into the dark places in the hearts of men and change some things in some people. Perhaps others may see and do likewise. This is what I am about. This is the meaning of my life.” (pages 175-177)

I’m going to seek the light, share it and shine it in the dark places in 2020.

James Kouzes and Barry Posner, The Leadership Challenge, have been surveying followers for over the past thirty years on what are the top seven characteristics out of twenty of an admired leader. Look at the latest results from the 2017 survey on the left. The top four characteristics of an admired leader are honesty, competence, inspiring, and forward-looking. These four characteristics have been consistent over the past thirty years. The first three characteristics – honesty, competency, and inspiring are in line with the currency of leadership, credibility. The pillars of credibility rest upon trust, expertise, and dynamism. Do you agree with Kouzes and Posner’s findings? Do you see the parallel with these characteristics and credibility? How is your credibility? How are you on being forward-looking? Do you have a vision for the future? Is it strategic? Is it viable? Is it inspiring?

While I think these four characteristics are essential for a leader to live into, I believe three components are missing from these twenty: humility, hope, and gratitude. I look for these three characteristics in leaders I choose to follow (and vote for!)

Humility. Humility is an essential topic in the Bible and written about in seventy-three verses. Prayer is a pillar of the Muslim faith. Everyone in prayer is equal. Thus prayer is founded on piety. Humility is piety. In the Jewish tradition, humility is among the greatest of the virtues – greatness is humility. While humility is a cornerstone in the world religions, it turns out to be essential in leadership in the secular world. Jim Collins, Good to Great, discovered leaders in the eleven great organizations had two critical behaviors: personal humility and indomitable will. How is your humility? If you are not sure, take an emotional intelligence 360 assessment. It will give you insight into where you stand as well as develop action steps to become more humble.

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” – C.S. Lewis

Hope. Sometimes people need hope more than food to stay alive! Hope is not wishful thinking, optimism, or a positive attitude. Hope is a call to action. Hope is the anticipation of something better coming, a blessing in the offing, a new, brighter tomorrow that you can have a hand in creating. Leaders with hope, who speak strongly about hope, who make hope come alive will have followers who will exceed expectations.

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.”  – John Lennon

Gratitude. We are bound up in consumerism, competition, and individualism. These behaviors cause us to compare ourselves to others and feeling sorry for ourselves when we see what we don’t have. Happiness is contingent upon that next shiny object, a new job title, a bigger office, a higher salary, a new car, a bigger home, and the latest tech. We continuously fail at being mindful of how we are, what we have, and who has helped us. Gratitude causes us to appreciate what we take for granted, especially the people in our lives. Leaders who live into gratitude are some of the most joyful people I know. Their joy is infectious, inspiring, and cherished. How do you measure your gratitude? When do you take inventory for what you are grateful? How often do you show your gratitude? How do you share your gratitude? Sheldon Yellen, CEO of the property-restoration company BELFOR Holdings, Inc., hand-writes birthday cards to each of his 9,200 employees as well as thank-you notes, anniversary cards, holiday cards, and even to his employees’ kids when they are sick. He has created a culture of compassion through the whole company.

“Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.” – Karl Barth

My leadership challenge to you is to nurture your humility, hope, and gratitude!

 

I’ll begin with what I know for sure: Experience trumps knowledge.

Mentors have experience.

The mentors in my life have had a significant role in where I am and what I am doing today. They gave and still give me the gift of their time and their wisdom.

My mentors help me be a better person, a better leader. They help me grow, especially when it is necessary and uncomfortable. They are pure grace in my life.

While mentoring focuses on behavior and skills, good mentoring helps develop people from the inside out. Mentoring deals with values and priorities. It becomes a spiritual exercise going beyond the mental and physical. Mentoring requires being vulnerable. Mentoring begins with the heart.

My first mentor was my father. As a freshly minted college graduate, not sure whether to purse a master’s degree, my father invited me to join him in business. It was one of the best decisions I could have made. What I learned about business trumped any master’s degree. What I learned about my father, the courage to leave the corporate world and to go into business on his own, fostered my courage to pursue my passion. As a mentor, my father modeled the way. He offered advice and counsel when asked. My favorite mentoring sessions were long lunches at our favorite restaurant or in his office after a trying day. As a new salesperson on his staff, I remember throwing up in the shower, worried about how I was going be successful. I remember sharing this with my father and his response with a warm smile, “Me too, when I first started!” That piece of sharing was a game-changer for me.

My second mentor was Craig Rider, The Rider Group. I enjoyed the facilitation and education part of my work in the corporate world, but I quickly realized “death by PowerPoint“ was not effective. Craig mentored me in experience-based learning. It changed the way I facilitated and educated others. He shared resources including books and magazines and allowed me to shadow him with clients. We attended AEE regional conferences together. He introduced me to gurus in experienced-based learning like Tom Leahy and Jim Cain. The game changer with Craig was the confidence he gave me when he trusted me to work with his clients. Most of all, Craig was responsible for connecting me with a head hunter that lead to my dream-job at Joy Outdoor Education Center, Clarkville, Ohio as Venture Out! Director.

Effective mentoring has a lasting impact on the mentee as well as the mentor. While mentoring is usually most effective male to male and female to female, I currently have a mentor who is female. Her gift to me has been to help me understand my white male privilege. Lynn Watts helps me be more self-aware. While she is 400 miles away, and perhaps we only see each other once or twice a year, we talk by phone at least monthly.

The other mentor currently active in my life is Scott Steel. Scott has an incredible heart for leadership. He challenges me to bring compassion and empathy beyond work. Like Lynn, I do not see him enough, but we are in contact by phone at least monthly.

Here is another “what I know for sure.” I need to pay it forward. The mentoring my father, Craig, Lynn and Scott gave me, I need to give to others. Mentoring is a part of my leadership journey.

Is mentoring a part of your leadership journey?

A young man came to me recently. He has just experienced his fourth department leadership change in three years. He was a mix of anger, frustration, and disappointment. He was losing hope in the organization and its leadership. The future concerns him because he wants stability. He asked for answers or at least my advice. What would you say?

I’ve been down this road before including the death of my business partner in the late 80s as well as the experience of having six different directors in a former position in three years! I did survive and learned from each of those experiences. I am better for those experiences.

Whenever I encounter these situations, my first focus goes to gratitude. What am I grateful for? What do I have rather than what do I want? I am richly blessed. On the back of my office door are many thank you notes, accolades and certificates of appreciation. They remind me of the relationships in my life. They tell me I am not alone. They are evidence of the significance I have made in people’s lives as well as the significance they have made in my life. They remind me life is good. They are a source of comfort and fortification when facing Ezekiel’s Valley of Bones.

One tool I pull out when the VUCA‘s are high (Volatility, Uncertainty, Chaos/Complexity, Ambiguity) is Joel Barker’s Implication Wheel. I begin by asking a thoughtful, challenging question, ‘what are the implications and potential consequences of the situation I am facing?’ I suspend emotion and engage in rational, constructive thinking. I have found over and over the Implication Wheel will not predict the future but will yield a guide toward a possibly better future. The Implication Wheel asks powerful questions leading to more questions and possible answers. It creates a way out of the swampland of despair.

If you were faced with this young man’s situation, you might ask, “What are the implications of having a new department director?” Use a big piece of butcher block paper or several flipchart sheets and write out complete, understandable responses on 3M Post-it Notes. This should generate at least five possibilities such as: There will be a search for a new director including having an interim director; I get the opportunity to learn and grow from a new leader; My department could reorganize, rightsize or even downsize; I may gain/lose resources that impact my work; There will be stress and uncertainty in this transition. Each of these implcations should generate another set of implications, possibilities and consequences in each of these five. You may find there are futher implications recognized off each of those implications. What you end up with is a kind of mind-map.

After you complete this, go back and look at each statement and begin the process of asking important questions like: Who controls this? Who has the power to impact this implication? What is the possible timeline for this to evolve? What are the inside and outside influences upon this implication? At this point it might be good to share this Implication Wheel with others to get their perspective. Ultimately, you are looking for and rating the desirability and likelihood of each implication you have generated.  It will reveal the choices and commitments you need to make. The outcome of this exercise can strenghten your hope for a better future as well as a call to action. Additionally, this exercise will dial down fear.

FEAR could be an acronym for Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise. The choice is yours. Choose courageously.