I received pushback on my blog concerning my word for 2022 – civility.

“I found it curious that you cited the Jan 6 insurrection but did not mention the unrest in Minneapolis, the Seattle occupation of 6 city blocks for 21 days, and destroying a police precinct, and the 25 deaths, thousands of injuries, over 14,000 arrests, all the businesses destroyed and a couple of billion dollars in damage, and BLM and Antifa connected to many of the civil violence and unrest actions in 2020,  I say this because I do not believe a single action that happened on Jan 6 can incite a civil war or would make me worry about it, but In my humble opinion-   ALL these acts over the past several years have contributed to the concerns of civil war that you have … It is easy to twist any of this for political convenience, right or left…”

It’s like the difference between an apple and an orange to me. Here is my response:

“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.”    – James R. Schlesinger

To understand the difference between the January 6, 2021 insurrection and the BLM protests in Minneapolis, Seattle, or even here in Asheville, NC, I offer several different areas for your consideration and understanding.

Simply put, the insurrection on January 6th, 2021 was disloyal to the U.S. Constitution. The insurrection took place at the heart of our democracy, the U.S. Capitol. Protests are a part of democracy. The BLM protests were on the streets and were a call for acknowledgment of the untaught ugly history of Black, Indigenous, People of Color (BIPOC) over the past 400+ years, the unequal, unfair treatment of BIPOC compared to white, and the call to make right has been made wrong in the past.

True democracy in America only goes back to 1965, the year the Voting Rights Act guaranteed to ALL American citizens, regardless of race. Forty-three years later, we elected a Black president. As in the past, the rise of Black people to political power made some white Americans question the wisdom of democracy. Personally, I saw white people cringe and shake their heads when I was doing diversity workshops at the City of Asheville back in 2014 when I shared that by 2045, “white people” will be a minority according to the US Census. This is the main concern of The Proud Boys, The Three Percenters, Oath Keepers, the Alt-right, and the KKK. Here is the unspoken ‘elephant-in-the-room,’ – these groups want to ‘Make America Great Again’ beginning with being as white, male, Christian, and heterosexual as possible. After all, America was invaded by white, male, Christian, heterosexual people and made for white, male, Christian, heterosexual people.

I do not condone the violence and destruction of property by the BLM protests, but this video clip, How Can We Win? may help you get a Black and POC perspective on violence and destruction of BLM protests. It is crucial to understand the facts of the history of the BIPOC in the United States. White people have never treated BIPOC well. Beginning with the indigenous people who lived on the soil of America, white people scorned the indigenous, treated them as less than human, stole their land, broke treaties, and continue to treat the indigenous poorly.

Then there is the sordid history of how white people have treated Black and POC. There have been three countries that have promoted chattel slavery on this earth – India, the United States, and Nazi Germany. Guess where Nazi Germany learned about chattel slavery? – The Jim Crow south of The United States.

I ask you to learn and understand the untaught, ugly history of BIPOC including:
– why Blacks did not receive Social Security back when it was implemented in 1935
– why over 1 million Black GI’s were denied the GI Bill
– why the average wealth of a white family is 10 times greater than the average wealth of a Black family
– why threatened with death if Black and POC voted in elections
– why the infant mortality rate of Black and POC children is 2.3 times greater than white children
– why the life expectancy of a Black male is at least 4 years less than a white male
– the systemic and institutional racism that contributes to ‘Driving while Black,’ ‘Running while Black,’ ‘The Talk,’ ‘The Look,’ ‘The Choice,’ ‘Buying while Black at Kroger,’ ‘Buying while Black at Walmart.’

I would encourage you to have hard-to-hear conversations on these topics with BIPOC. Do your homework on a couple of these topics and then go share with a BIPOC what you learned and ask them to validate ‘Driving while Black,’ ‘The Talk,’ ‘The Look.’

One of the most powerful encounters I had just before COVID hit, was going with four other white men and five Black men to watch the movie, Just Mercy. Afterward, we sat around a large table and talked about the movie and how close to home it was for the Black men among us. We white men had no idea and could not relate.

This history is at the foundation of BLM protests. George Floyd’s murder was a current-day lynching that added to over 4,000 previous lynchings in our history and set off the protests.

What do you suppose is the history of the insurrection participants who were front and center at the January 6th insurrection? Do you think these people have experienced anything close to what BIPOC has experienced the past 400+ years? Have they experienced injustice, inequality, and trauma? Many of these groups were tied to the “Unite the Right” white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, in August 2017, which Trump said were “good people.” Trump at the September 29, 2020 debate with Biden was quoted as telling the Proud Boys, directly to “stand back and stand by.”

If you go back to my blog and open the links for the political instability checklist leading to the demise of democracy, you will find 10 major causes:
– If the rights and freedoms of the people are not respected or are trampled upon, then it is very easy for instability to emerge.
– Corruption and mismanagement of the wealth of a country has over the years been shown to be one of the biggest factors responsible for political instability.
– An election that is characterized by rigged votes and intimidation of voters and that is not free and fair is one of the major causes of political instability in many countries across the globe.
– When the majority of the people are impoverished and cannot find jobs, they vent their anger on the government. Many countries have suffered from instability as a result of this.
– When members of opposing parties of the government are deliberately targeted and prosecuted for no apparent reason, this can easily give rise to instability in the country.
– When the government decides not to be open and transparent.
– When the citizens constantly live in fear because of a government that prevents them from freely expressing their views or opinions.
– High levels of prejudice in a country also leads to instability. In Africa, ethnic prejudices have over the years led to some of the worst forms of instability.
– A country can easily plunge into political instability when the head of state decides not to step down when his or her time is up. A good example of this is Syria.

The insurrection of January 6th had many of these components including mismanagement of wealth, the unfounded belief the elections of 2021 were not fair or free (over 60 courts have ruled otherwise; multiple recounts by different states included hand counts have shown no evidence to the contrary), suppression of opposition parties, not being open and transparent (evidence is showing this as the committee looks at the January 6th insurrection.)

The seeds of insurrection were planted by Trump when he encouraged attendees at his rallies to “knock the hell” out of protestors, praised a lawmaker who body-slammed a reporter and defended rioters who yelled to “hang Mike Pence.”

And the insurrection continues! For evidence:

Look at Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene. Back in February 2021, she was removed from congressional committees after a series of posts advocating the execution of Democratic members of Congress and embracing elements of the QAnon conspiracy.

Look at Rep. Paul Gosar, who was censured back in November after posting an animated video of himself killing Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York.

Look at Rep. Lauren Boebert and the Islamophobic remarks she had made on several occasions which have led to violence towards Muslim Americans.

Look at election officials and their families who have been threatened for certifying the presidential election even after numerous validated recounts affirmed by our courts.

Look at lawmakers and politicians and their families who have been threatened for voting their conscience and values and not going along with GOP party lines.

Look at a conservative rally in Idaho back in October, when one man stepped up to the microphone and asked when he could start killing Democrats? Ben Adams, an Idaho State Representative, replied, “That’s a fair question to ask.”

Look at Josh Mandel, former Ohio State Treasurer and candidate for U.S. Senate, urging Republicans to resist tyranny and said, “When the Gestapo shows up at your front door, you know what to do.”

One of the conversations I have with coaching clients is about their risk matrix. On one axis is risk, on the other axis is benefit. For common BIPOC, their risk matrix is benefit low and risk high. For me, as a white male (and most whites in the U.S.), my risk matrix is high benefit and low risk because of the tailwinds of being white throughout my life. Until these two different matrices become more symmetrical, you will see BIPOC in the streets protesting, and you will see insurrection growing as whites fight to maintain the status quo.

I’ll end with this quote from Omar Wasow, a poli sci professor at Pomona College who studies protests and race from the past to the present, “What’s different about almost all those other events is that now, there’s a partisan divide around the legitimacy of our political system,” he said. “The elite endorsement of political violence from factions of the Republican Party is distinct for me from what we saw in the 1960s. Then, you didn’t have — from a president on down — politicians calling citizens to engage in violent resistance.”

Evidence points out civility is on life support in the ICU.

As I have blogged before, I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I allow a word to pick me and then understand and practice that word in my life for the upcoming year. I believe the word that has my attention for 2022 is civility.

May civility be our New Year’s resolution as well as the gifts we give to each other going into 2022.

October 29, 2021

To: The next occupant of this desk

From: David Carr, HR Consultant, Human Resources, City of Asheville

Welcome!

I was at this desk for over 9 years! I hope you find your work to be as fulfilling as I did while using this desk!

The people I worked with were wonderful. I hope you find them equally enjoyable.

Here is my advice to you on the use and care of this desk:

First, use this desk as a tool not as a barrier! Whenever people came in to see me, I moved my chair so the desk was not a barrier between us.

When people came into this office, I gave them 100% of my attention! I avoided the distractions of computer screens and smartphones. I was fully present. (This was also important when I attended meetings.)

Second, this desk gets really old after being at it for more than eight hours. I tried not to stay late. I went home! There is no work-life balance – there is just balance. When people ask me what I do, I tell them, I am a collaborator in God’s creation, a significant other to my wife, a father to my children (even though they are grown!), a friend to my cohorts and friends, and then an HR Consultant to the City of Asheville. These were my priorities, thus the City of Asheville got just over 40 hours of work from me per week. The rest of my time went to my priorities!

Third, I emailed less and went to see people face-to-face as much as possible! In fact, if an email took longer than 5 minutes to write, there was emotion involved, and I would meet face-to-face. Emails hurt relationships! I cannot tell you how many people came into this office with a stack of printed-out emails who were in conflict with a cohort just a couple of doors down from them!

Fourth, this was a great desk to handwrite notes to people to let them know I saw them doing something right, or to thank them for helping me with a project or for being a part of the team!

Fifth, this desk was essential on late Friday afternoons! I closed the door, reflected on what went well this week; what got accomplished; who helped me; who I helped. And then I would plan for the next week. This made Sunday evening less stressful and prevented me from thinking about Monday’s work!

Best wishes for the work you are doing here at the City of Asheville! You are part of a vibrant community that makes a difference!

Carrpe Diem!

David Carr

This blog was inspired by David French writing, A Whiff of Civil War in the Air.

We were driving to Lake Lure, NC, this past Saturday and drove through Chimney Rock. I stopped at a pedestrian crossing and right in front of me was a 60-something white male displaying a holstered handgun on his hip. I got a big whiff of Civil War in the air!

We live in a country of fear, and it is escalating. Fear is in the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat and all the screens we scan. We are oppressed by fear. It’s the monkey on our backs; the weight on our shoulders. Thus, we fear one another, we fear our leaders, we fear government, we fear business, we fear our shadow!

French writes about malice and disdain. I believe shame researcher Brene Brown would tell us malice and disdain like shame are rooted in fear.

“Malice and disdain make a person vulnerable to misinformation. Misinformation then builds more malice and disdain and enhances the commercial demand for, you guessed it, more misinformation. Rinse and repeat until entire media empires exist to supply that demand.”

Fear keeps us from sharing our vulnerability. If you learn of my weakness, I fear you will take advantage of me.

Fear is the foundation of distrust. We are consumed by distrust. Distrust feeds denial.

Fear is the foundation of cults in which the cult’s leader is seen as all-powerful, can do no wrong, and is not held accountable. A cult perpetuates us versus them mentality and establishes the binary, ‘you are with us or against us.’ Questioning, curiosity, and open-mindedness are discouraged and even punished.

Fear is destroying our democracy, which thrives on compromise. There is no compromise these days. We see opponents, people who think and believe differently from us as enemies, socialists, Marxists, sluts, nasty, snowflakes, and retards. While French writes: “With rising hatred, I’m seeing a rise in purely destructive spirit, especially on the right.” Just to be fair, I also have seen this behavior on the left.

Fear has turned relationships into transactions rather than transformations. Transactional behavior follows law, policy, and tradition rather than adjusting and changing. Transactional behavior is about maintaining the status quo rather than looking for opportunity. Unlike transactional behavior, transformational behavior deals more effectively with the VUCAs – volatility, uncertainty, confusion, and ambiguity which are the headwinds in our face today.

Fear has thrown ethics, values, and principles ‘under the bus.’ We are consumed in the short-run, individualism, and loyalty over truth. The Golden Rule is on life-support. After all, the Golden Rule challenges self-serving interests.

I have Jewish friends who fear living in the United States. They look at me as a Christian and point out how Christianity is dividing our country. Christianity is fueling fear rather than love. They say that “love thy neighbor as thyself” is a sham. Many Christians don’t walk-the-talk of Christ’s teachings. These friends are looking to move to Portugal (which is 2nd in the world in COVID vaccinations at 85% while the United States is 46th with 55% as of 10/3/2021.)

I have POC friends who are considering moving to Spain or Canada to escape racism. (Spain has one of the lowest costs of living in the world and treats BIPOC much better than here in the US according to them. Canada celebrates multiculturalism.)

So how do we overcome this epidemic of fear?

South Africa is working to overcome hate. Perhaps we should take some lessons from them. When South Africa rewrote their constitution in 1996, it sought input from the public. They got over 2 million responses! The opening line of their constitution reads: “We, the people of South Africa, recognize the injustices of our past.” The US Constitution focuses on government structure while the South African Constitution focus is on human rights, including the right to dignity and respect.

We need to learn about our history, our past beyond what is white-washed in high school. I read Boston College American History Professor Heather Cox Richardson who publishes daily, Letters from an American. She schools me about the history of this country I never learned. She continuously reveals how we fail to learn lessons from our past. She adds substance to French’s OP-ED as well as Robert Kagan’s OP-ED on our Constitutional Crisis Is Already Here.

Finally, we must mindfully get out of our comfort zones, including our echo chambers, and seek to have hard conversations with others who think and believe differently than we do. When we hear something that is contrary to our belief and stokes our fear, ask a question rather than respond with our point of view, label, or shut down. Stay engaged. Stand in their shoes! Practice empathy and compassion. Find common values and principles.

When I learned the process for identifying core values, discovering purpose, developing a mission statement, and creating strategic plans, I was taught EVERY strategic plan has the same mega starting point: What kind of world do we want to create for tomorrow’s child? As the grandfather of a six-month-old, this challenge has become a living challenge. How about you?